Of all the places I could go, Caldwell, ID usually tops my list.
I grew up visiting my Grandparents in Caldwell. Mom moved here a few years ago to help Gramma, and the place became even more of a refuge for me.
"WOW I could go to Switzerland for $749 round trip!"
Lately I find myself thinking terrible things that I wouldn’t say out loud.
"WOW I could go to Switzerland for $749 round trip!"
Or, for that same price you could go see Mom 7 times!
"Or there’s always NYC . . . I miss my friends . . . "
OR you could go to Mom’s and sit on the couch and eat snacks.
"Or maybe Lake Tahoe, I should visit my sister . . ."
GOLDEN. GIRLS. WITH. GRANDMA.
Lately I find myself thinking terrible things that I wouldn’t say out loud.
Everyone was so concerned about ‘aging America’ and Baby Boomers bankrupting social security, but I guess Covid kind of solves that problem.
...
Maybe all the people who don’t believe in science will keep going out, contract the virus, and die.
...
Really, this is expected. It is Darwinian . . . Survival of the fittest in a world where “the fittest” = “people who believe science."
The truth is, if we make it through this and my mom doesn’t die, I win. That is the only thing I care about.
I have been thinking about my grandparents a lot. Grandma F. who took a sleigh to school. Who ate eggs and tomatoes because that's all her family had. Grandpa who was often hungry as a child in frozen Wyoming. Grandma H. who slept on a dirt floor, feeling rats scurrying over her throughout the night. And here I am boo-hooing this Soft Apocalypse. Mourning the loss of my Sunday Market scones; of other humans cleaning and painting my nails; of servers bringing food to me on dishes I won't have to clean.
The truth is, if we make it through this and my mom doesn’t die, I win. That is the only thing I care about.
I have been thinking about my grandparents a lot. Grandma F. who took a sleigh to school. Who ate eggs and tomatoes because that's all her family had. Grandpa who was often hungry as a child in frozen Wyoming. Grandma H. who slept on a dirt floor, feeling rats scurrying over her throughout the night. And here I am boo-hooing this Soft Apocalypse. Mourning the loss of my Sunday Market scones; of other humans cleaning and painting my nails; of servers bringing food to me on dishes I won't have to clean.
Many of our modern conveniences were meant to decrease our workload, but they didn’t. They simply created more time and space for us to do more work. I don’t have to spend 12 hours doing my laundry by hand, so I have 11 bonus hours to do other chores or activities. I no longer leave my office at 5 because I carry my office in my pocket. I’m not less busy. My time is equally occupied, only now it's occupied with 12 tasks instead of one.
If this had happened when my mother was a child, her family life and routines would not have changed much. I imagine myself waking up in 1961, walking into a home where my Grandmother is shelling peas and my mother is reading a book or putting a puzzle together with her sister. . .
"Is there a natural disaster?? A pandemic? What's wrong?"
"Um. . . no. It's a Thursday. . . "
They would’ve stayed home from school and church, that would've been different from their normal routine. But Grandma was already home. They already had food storage. They already sewed clothing, read books, played games, chatted. Their lives wouldn't have changed much because they were already frequently home.
Actually, no, Camilla. That's incorrect.
Their lives wouldn’t have changed much, not because they were already frequently home, but because they were skilled at being quiet. At entertaining themselves. At not needing outside stimuli. They were talented at living a life we might call "boring", because we are boring. I am boring.
This pandemic has awakened me to the fact that I’m easily bored. And I firmly believe that bored people are uninspired people. What an ugly truth.
. . .
Mom texted me today:
I miss my mom.
. . . .
Tonight on Step By Step, Carol turns 40 and suddenly goes up a dress size which is clearly terrible. Frank says no matter what she will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. I cried at that part. "Aww, are you crying?" "No." Yes because he LOVES her and I'm only human. Also Cody hallucinates Abraham Lincoln. This will never be explained and lasts for exactly one episode.
If this had happened when my mother was a child, her family life and routines would not have changed much. I imagine myself waking up in 1961, walking into a home where my Grandmother is shelling peas and my mother is reading a book or putting a puzzle together with her sister. . .
"Is there a natural disaster?? A pandemic? What's wrong?"
"Um. . . no. It's a Thursday. . . "
They would’ve stayed home from school and church, that would've been different from their normal routine. But Grandma was already home. They already had food storage. They already sewed clothing, read books, played games, chatted. Their lives wouldn't have changed much because they were already frequently home.
Actually, no, Camilla. That's incorrect.
Their lives wouldn’t have changed much, not because they were already frequently home, but because they were skilled at being quiet. At entertaining themselves. At not needing outside stimuli. They were talented at living a life we might call "boring", because we are boring. I am boring.This pandemic has awakened me to the fact that I’m easily bored. And I firmly believe that bored people are uninspired people. What an ugly truth.
. . .
Mom texted me today:
I miss my mom.
. . . .
Tonight on Step By Step, Carol turns 40 and suddenly goes up a dress size which is clearly terrible. Frank says no matter what she will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. I cried at that part. "Aww, are you crying?" "No." Yes because he LOVES her and I'm only human. Also Cody hallucinates Abraham Lincoln. This will never be explained and lasts for exactly one episode.
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